Navigating an awkward, collective vulnerability in this time of COVID-19

I hope you and your families are well and safe in this time of COVID-19. I appreciate what an overwhelming time we are in. So many of you are doing double, triple or quadruple duty (family, work, school) and more. The situation changes daily and we are left feeling that there is little we are actually in control of. This is obviously disconcerting for a group of professionals such as nurses, who often pride themselves on being calm, cool and in-control. 

There’s a quote that I have found useful throughout my career and it is relevant in our current situation. Viktor Frankl once said, “Everything can be taken from a (person) but one thing: the last of the human freedoms — to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

This is a humbling time as well, where it’s clear that we (humanity) are so interconnected to each other – both globally and locally. The precautions we take now are not for any one of us, but for all of us.

As a leader, I can tell you, I don’t have all the answers. I so wish I did. We are building the plane while trying to fly it. I wish I could say it will all be ok, and I wish I could deploy support and resources that would ease all the stress and burden that each of you is facing. I can’t. What I can do is be honest, vulnerable and hopeful. 

The decisions that are being made at the University of Calgary are always made through the lens of safety and concern for our university community. I know that we are utilizing the best evidence and information available to us to make decisions although, in this rapidly evolving situation, that information and evidence changes quickly. 

Your patience and understanding for the ever-changing nature of this situation is so appreciated.  Your leadership team is engaged, coordinated, informed and doing our darndest every day to navigate this situation with as much grace and humility and collective wisdom as we can muster. 

As one of my modern-time heroes Brené Brown recently put it: “This pandemic experience is a massive experiment in collective vulnerability. We can be our worst selves when we’re afraid, or our very best, bravest selves. In the context of fear and vulnerability, there is often very little in between because when we are uncertain and afraid, our default is self-protection. We don’t have to be scary when we’re scared. Let’s choose awkward, brave, and kind. And let’s choose each other.”

So with that awkward vulnerability in mind – let me say that this COVID-19 situation is full of awkward firsts for all of us (what Brené would call FFT or ‘effing’ First Times) – whether it is:

• Moving your teaching from face-to-face to online in what seems to be the blink on an eye
• Home schooling AND working your day job, while your spouse/partner ALSO works from home OR has been laid off
• Dealing with family and loved ones being in locations across the world in this scary time and/or self-isolating because they’ve just returned home from abroad
• The unknown-ness of it all in this rapidly changing situation
• Fear for our own personal safety and for those we love and care about

I do know that this situation will not last forever and we will one day return to “normal” whatever that might look like by then. We are in for a bit of a marathon, meaning that this won’t be over soon. We are likely into this for a period of months.

So although we’ve been preparing and working at a sprinter's pace lately, we’ll need to settle into a rhythm more akin to that of a marathon runner. We need to find a personal and collective stride/pace that will allow us all to endure. 

For me personally, that means things like building in hard stops for the ever present “work portal” AKA laptop that is now living on my dining room table beckoning me to answer just one more email. 

What can we each do to build in routine and breaks so we don’t feel all consumed? That will look different for each of us, but important for all of us. Flexibility, self-compassion and compassion for others is also key. And what an amazing thing it is to be with family.

I am trying to do better at “making time” in my day to pay attention to what my husband is up to and supporting him. I can only imagine those of you with kids and the challenge of supporting them through all this strangeness – my hat is off to you all.

I also believe it is important to keep our sense of humour intact through all of these character building FFTs and build in a sense of fun. I have a couple of invitations I will end on that I hope you will take me up on.

“Formal Friday” - I saw Jimmy Kimmel’s family do it last week: on Friday, get gussied up – even though we’ve got nowhere to go – for dinner.  It is a chance to get out of our COVID-19 ruts and have some fun. Try it with your family/friends. Consider taking a pic and posting to Twitter or Instagram. Be sure to tag @ucalgarynursing and #FormalFriday so we can all see you in your fancy duds.

“Sunday Funday” - NO emails, NO work…on Sunday. Take a break, breathe, enjoy nature, sleep in, whatever you need for you. Ideally, we should do this all weekends, but I know in reality some of us will be doing stuff on the weekend. Still, try to make the time Sunday Funday and again if you want to share and show solidarity, tag #SundayFunday and @ucalgarynursing on Instagram or Twitter.

Thanks for reading.  Please know I am here for you all.

Yours in FFT’s and Collective Vulnerability,

Sandra

UCalgary resources on COVID-19

For the most up-to-date information about the University of Calgary's response to the spread of COVID-19, visit the UCalgary COVID-19 Response website.